A List of Disgusting Questions Peppered with Random Thought...

Looks like my Hallowe'en costume isn't going to make it and that really sucks. Ahhh well, that's what I get for ordering it so friggin' late I guess. I'll save it for next year or maybe, I'll save it for around the house, lol. I could wear it around the house I guess, I'd be pretty popular though...hahaha. Mental pictures of me answering the door in a black corset and skirt with knee boots and a riding crop. My oh my. I'd either have a lot of visitors or a lot of people runnng away. Whichever happened, it would be very amusing to say the least.

Ever try to pick your nose but your nails are too long and you hurt yourself? No? Me either.

Do you look at the toilet paper after you wipe? No? Why not? Don't you want to make sure you're clean ya freak?!

Do you sneak down the aisle in Wal-Mart to fart or do you fart wherever you are? I hide and blame the baby if it stinks.

Say your bum gets itchy when your walking, how do you scratch it? Honestly, answer this one because I had one hell of an itch walking to the bus the other day. All I wanted to do was drop my pants and scratch my ass on the concrete. You know how dogs drap their ass on the carpet.? Yeah, it was that bad.

Do you wonder how people who don't poop in public or at work can hold it all day? I do. My stomach would be in fits. I want to buy these people some Poopsie-Daisie or Just-A-Drop and some toilet sanitizer and tell them to have at it, their guts will thank them.

Does a guy really believe a girl when she says she doesn't toot? Come on people, that's like finding a guy who doesn't masturbate. Here's a secret: ALL WOMEN FART!

Finally, here are some of my answers to stupid questions I've been asked:

Did your tattoo hurt? No, felt like butterflies gently flying over my arm.

Did that piercing hurt (insert whatever one here)? Again, butterflies did it for me and rainbows came down from Heaven to take the pain away and the needle turned into a fucking magic wand that sent out a puff of glittery smoke and it was over.

Are they all yours (in reference to my kids)? Nope, I collect them randomly at the grocery store.

Do you work here (while sitting at the reception desk at work)? Nope. I walk into random offices and sit at their reception desks to screw with people's minds.

Is that your dog? Do you know she's going to be big? Didn't know she was mine. I found this really nice leash by a bush and wanted to take it home, turns out the dog was attached. Didn't know she was going to be big, thought she a miniature breed, guess I should get my money back. Bastards lied to me, damn puppy mills.

====

I think I'm losing my mind. There are so many things that come to mind in the run of a day that I really do wonder about it's rediculous. Then, when I mention them to anyone, they look at me like I'm insane. Wonder why.