Here I am again, pounding out a little blurb of nonsense. Lady Gaga played John Lennon's famous white piano. Lucky b*tch. Not that I can play the piano but playing Chop Sticks on John Lennon's piano, the one that he wrote Imagine on, would be quite the experience. Oh, I could also play Mary Had A Little Lamb!! Far cry from an unarguable timeless classic, but Mary Had A Little Lamb sort of is in it's own right. Isn't it?
It's late and I should be in bed but I have a bizillion (I know, ridiculous number) questions floating around in my head. I'm a little pissed off. Well, maybe a lot pissed off but that's beside the point. I'm trying to figure out whose place it is to determine how honest I need to be with my kids. Whose job is it to figure out how much they should or shouldn't know? Oh wait, that's right, that's me. Seems there are people who are not to happy that I'm completely honest with Miss Lily regarding the circumstances of my upbringing. Those who know me, know the story so there is no reason to repeat it here. The thing is, Miss Lily is questioning her upbringing and who everyone is in her life, where they stand, how we're all related and why things came to be that way. Do I hold this information back from her the way it was held back from me? The way it's still held back from me, certain pieces of it anyway. If my baby girl is hurting and questioning things her life that I can relate to, is it not my job as her mother to symphathize with her and tell her that I understand? I've had some of the same questions growing up that she has. I can answer her questions the way that no one answered mine. I still have a lot of things I want to ask and I'm still nervous to ask because it makes me feel like that little kid who was told things just are they way they are and don't bother.
I don't want any of my kids to feel that any part of who I am, who they are and what makes us a different and extra special kind of family is anything to be ashamed of. I don't ever want them to be afraid to ask me a question or wonder if the answer is truthful. I have three beautiful babies whom I love dearly, without question. As their questions are asked, they will be answered as honestly as I can. Of course I'm going to edit according to age but never will I hold back. Who I am, who their family is, who their parents are is all a part of their history and they deserve to grow up knowing it. I think their situation, being so different from other families, may give them a different perspective on life, family and what constitutes a family. Families now are so varied, so mixed and so diverse that me, being a single mother of three, isn't an unusual occurance anymore. I don't want them to think that there is something wrong with the way that I grew up or the way that they are growing up. How else can I do that if it's not an open topic?
Could I be wrong? Absolutely. I promised myself I would always be honest with my children about everything. Is that wrong? Should I avoid questions? Should I not volunteer information even though I think it might make my little girl feel better and that she's not the only one in the world that has wondered and worried and asked? She has a sister and brother coming up behind her that I'm sure are going to be asking the same questions she already has and how can expect to have an open and honest relationship with them if I haven't had one with their big sister? How can I have an open and honest relationship with any of my children if I avoid or redirect any questions that they have? I think if I don't answer them honestly when they're younger, they're never going to ask me anything when they're older. As they grow up and the questions they ask deviate from family to sex, drugs, friends, relationships, etc I want them to know that Mommy is always going to answer as calmly, truthfully and best that she can.
Is it possible to build this kind of relationship with my children one piece at a time? I don't want to be their best friend, that's not my job. I want to be their mother, someone to be respected and, in some cases, feared (especially when you're giving your sister a nipple twister). At the same time, they need to know they can come to me with anything. I think that trust is built step by step, even in parent-child relationships and starts from day one.
Dear followers, in atypical fashion for me, I went on a serious slide to somewhere that I ponder quite often. So you guys tell me ... would you answer your children's questions as honestly as you can or would you avoid or redirect them? Do you guys think there is any other way to handle the hard questions other than be as honest as you can based on how old your child is and what you know they can handle? If you do, please share.
Love and hugs xoxox
It's late and I should be in bed but I have a bizillion (I know, ridiculous number) questions floating around in my head. I'm a little pissed off. Well, maybe a lot pissed off but that's beside the point. I'm trying to figure out whose place it is to determine how honest I need to be with my kids. Whose job is it to figure out how much they should or shouldn't know? Oh wait, that's right, that's me. Seems there are people who are not to happy that I'm completely honest with Miss Lily regarding the circumstances of my upbringing. Those who know me, know the story so there is no reason to repeat it here. The thing is, Miss Lily is questioning her upbringing and who everyone is in her life, where they stand, how we're all related and why things came to be that way. Do I hold this information back from her the way it was held back from me? The way it's still held back from me, certain pieces of it anyway. If my baby girl is hurting and questioning things her life that I can relate to, is it not my job as her mother to symphathize with her and tell her that I understand? I've had some of the same questions growing up that she has. I can answer her questions the way that no one answered mine. I still have a lot of things I want to ask and I'm still nervous to ask because it makes me feel like that little kid who was told things just are they way they are and don't bother.
I don't want any of my kids to feel that any part of who I am, who they are and what makes us a different and extra special kind of family is anything to be ashamed of. I don't ever want them to be afraid to ask me a question or wonder if the answer is truthful. I have three beautiful babies whom I love dearly, without question. As their questions are asked, they will be answered as honestly as I can. Of course I'm going to edit according to age but never will I hold back. Who I am, who their family is, who their parents are is all a part of their history and they deserve to grow up knowing it. I think their situation, being so different from other families, may give them a different perspective on life, family and what constitutes a family. Families now are so varied, so mixed and so diverse that me, being a single mother of three, isn't an unusual occurance anymore. I don't want them to think that there is something wrong with the way that I grew up or the way that they are growing up. How else can I do that if it's not an open topic?
Could I be wrong? Absolutely. I promised myself I would always be honest with my children about everything. Is that wrong? Should I avoid questions? Should I not volunteer information even though I think it might make my little girl feel better and that she's not the only one in the world that has wondered and worried and asked? She has a sister and brother coming up behind her that I'm sure are going to be asking the same questions she already has and how can expect to have an open and honest relationship with them if I haven't had one with their big sister? How can I have an open and honest relationship with any of my children if I avoid or redirect any questions that they have? I think if I don't answer them honestly when they're younger, they're never going to ask me anything when they're older. As they grow up and the questions they ask deviate from family to sex, drugs, friends, relationships, etc I want them to know that Mommy is always going to answer as calmly, truthfully and best that she can.
Is it possible to build this kind of relationship with my children one piece at a time? I don't want to be their best friend, that's not my job. I want to be their mother, someone to be respected and, in some cases, feared (especially when you're giving your sister a nipple twister). At the same time, they need to know they can come to me with anything. I think that trust is built step by step, even in parent-child relationships and starts from day one.
Dear followers, in atypical fashion for me, I went on a serious slide to somewhere that I ponder quite often. So you guys tell me ... would you answer your children's questions as honestly as you can or would you avoid or redirect them? Do you guys think there is any other way to handle the hard questions other than be as honest as you can based on how old your child is and what you know they can handle? If you do, please share.
Love and hugs xoxox
