Today was the day. Yesterday was supposed to be the day but I got lost and chose to get some supper instead of continue the adventure. Doesn't matter though because this morning I got up with one mission in mind: get my GWAR tickets. I didn't realize just what an adventure it would be but it sure as hell turned out to be an interesting one.
The day started out normal, just like any other morning of any other weekday. Miss Lily got up and ready for school; I showered and dressed. Little Miss and Little Man are visiting Big Cranky back in the Place I Don't Speak Of so, there was no extra rush today. It was nice, relaxed and I was damn wired about leaving the house. Miss Lily and I walked to school and once the bell rang I gave her a kiss, a hug, an "I love you" and watched her walk into her school before I bounced through the schoolyard and off to the bus stop. Seventeen minutes until the next bus came along and all I could do was stare at my watch.
I transferred buses and waited impatiently to reach the ferry terminal downtown. The ride seemed like it took the far side of forever and the guy beside me singing to himself made it a little worse but I made it. I skipped off the bus, took a deep breath and started walking. I thought I knew where I was going so I strolled happily thinking that within the next few minutes I was going to be holding those damn concert tickets. No, I was mistaken. That street is a lot longer than I had anticipated and the road that I thought I was going to find was turning out to exist only in my imagination. But I did come across a nice tourist couple who took their picture with me because they wanted their picture taken with a local. They were very sweet and I was very happy to oblige although I'm not technically a local Haligonian but the friendly Caper part of my twisted personality came out and I told a little white lie so as not to disappoint. That part doesn't come out that often anymore, seems I've been walking with jaw clenched and fists ready lately. Not really sure why that is but it is what it is. ... That was a lot of "is".
Anyway, once I left the nice tourist couple, I kept walking and believing more and more that I was dreaming this whole concert and there was no such venue. I meandered into a Tim Horton's for a cup of tea and a pee before the trek continued. The place was crowded with steel-toe booted/coverall covered men from the docks. It was interesting to say the least. The place smelled like coffee and hard work which was an oddly enjoyable experience. I got my tea and started walking again but reached the end of the road with no sign of the road I was looking for. Panic. I really was dreaming this whole thing. Why didn't I ask for directions in Tim's? I guess hard work intimidates me. Joke people, that was joke.
I turned my butt around and found a taxi parked on the side of the street. I felt like a complete boob jumping in the car because I knew I was close but I was lost. Totally and utterly lost. The cabbie laughed at me, gave me directions and assured me that this place was not a figment of my imagination. He also refused to drive me since I was so close. That was a good thing though, saved me five smackeroos. So, I started back towards Tim's and back to the end of the road. I walked through one of the creepiest, longest, ominous pedestrian tunnels I have ever come across and popped out at a dock. It felt like a gopher coming out of a hole. I looked to my left and voila, there it was: that foolish, well-hidden site. Skip in my step again, I was home free...
Not so much.
I walked in and found a strange group of people setting up tables with highfalutin’ tablecloths, plates, silverware, etc. I asked for assistance with finding the box office but they looked at me like I was a talking gopher. I mean, I just walked out of a hole but I wasn't a zoo display. They got me a manager who looked a little scared and I asked again where I could pick up tickets but was told very plainly that they don't have a place to get them. There is no box office. Huh? My reaction was that of a tired, cranky and disappointed metal head.
"Bullshit. I called this place yesterday and it was YOUR administration that told me I could pick up tickets right here."
"For the wine and cheese event here this evening?"
Standing in my short sleeve t-shirt, tattoos on exhibit, I flung up my arms, "Do I look like I go to wine and cheese parties?" Oooohhh sarcasm is a wonderful weapon.
This manager stepped back from me and replied quickly that I was misinformed and he was sorry but I'd have to get the tickets through the TicketPro website or the local large-chain grocery store.
Then some acid spilled out of my mouth before I spun on my heel and tramped out of the place, "You might want to check your staff and make sure that they're damn well informed about these things before they pass on the wrong fuckin' information to people. That way, people like me don't have to take four or more hours out of their day to get lost and find out they went to the WRONG FUCKIN' PLACE and end up spending even more time finding the right one!!"
I’m pretty sure my left finger was pointing while my right hand stayed balled in a fist at my side. Interesting mental picture of myself. I’m such a crab lately. Hmmm … could be the raging hormones from my … nevermind.
Done. Totally not the way to handle things but I was feeling a little extra cantankerous this morning. Cantankerous is a fun little word isn't it. I left that snotty place and headed back to the ferry terminal. Walked the boardwalk this time though and enjoyed it. Bagpipes, tourists taking pictures, kids playing on the little playground, the smell of beaver tails being made, the gentle sound of waves on the dock. I loved Halifax for a few minutes. Even stopped to sit and watch the harbour for a little while. I stared at the shipyards across the water, watched the traffic on the bridge, the ferry making it’s crossing; enjoyed the sites and sounds and smells of the waterfront.
I got to the bus where the only problem I had was the woman next to me with her gas issues (please people, don't fart on the bus) and I amiably went to that disgustingly large and intimidating grocery store. Strutting myself directly to customer service, content again that I was finally going to get my tickets but I was Wrong. (Typo on the capitalization of wrong but it works.) The clerk at customer service was friendly and I restrained myself from swearing at him because he's going to the concert too and loves Lamb of God and GWAR. He kindly explained that they only handle Ticket Atlantic and not TicketPro events but pointed me in the right direction. We even had a nice discussion about how the administration at the concert venue doesn’t know what they're doing because they keep sending people there for tickets and providing the wrong information.
I called TicketPro, they told me exactly where to go and the phone number of the place so I could call myself. I called them too and they assured that they really do have the tickets and could pick them up any time before 4:30pm. I'm sure the lady on the other end of the phone was confused by why I asked her so many times if she was sure that she had them, could she see them, could she hold them if she wanted to. I was going to make sure she could smell them but stopped myself since that may be a little too weird.
By this time I had to go get Miss Lily at school. I couldn’t believe that it really did take that amount of time for this adventure. I picked up Lily and she was happy to come on another ticket retrieving undertaking with me. Bus again, another bus terminal and transfer. The box office. The tickets. We did it. Miss Lily is a little upset that I won’t get her a ticket but I don’t think a concert that will have a mosh pit known affectionately as the “Wall of Death” is an appropriate place for a seven year old. The little girl does know every word to “Sick of You” and “The Road Behind” though. Ahhh, my budding little Scumdog. That’s not an insult my dear readers, that’s a compliment.
I now have my tickets for one of my favourite bands. A band I have listened to for the past eighteen years, GWAR. Check them out at http://www.gwar.net if you're not sure who they are. YouTube them and watch some of their live stuff. Theatrical. Fantastic. I am sooo damn excited and even more excited to share this concert with one of my best friends! His favourite and one of my favs playing the same show. so who could ask for better? Watching amazing, talented bands with a great friend is the best recipe for an intense and amazing night out.
Here I am, the fat kid with cake. The rocker chick with her rock tickets. Now just for the adventure for Megadeth and Slayer concert. Awesome.
