The Tale of Four

I’m sure I had something snippy to write tonight.  Some sarcastic and dry wit to spew onto the scre en for the world to read.  Naw.  It was one of those days that didn’t end.  Well, I guess it did because the babies are in bed and I’m laying in bed trying to decide what movie to fall asleep to tonight. 

Started out just like any day.  Miss Lily and Little Miss screaming from the top bunk that they need to pee, can’t hold it and can’t get down.  That leaves me in my PJs and blue crocs (slippers) to run into their room as fast as anyone who hasn’t realized their eyes are open can run.  That’s not very fast, more of a slow drawl of dragging feet and moaning.  I got them down and they peed without incident but Little Man Meatball was a different story.  He pooped out of his diaper – again.  It’s the usual morning poop, right out of his diaper so I took him out and changed him only today I dropped the diaper on my foot and had poop stuck in the holes in my croc and smooshed between my toes.  Nasty.

Got cleaned up.  Got breakfast.  Cheerios with strawberries and blackberries, dry with a glass/sippy cup of milk on the side.  Ohhhh … gourmet.  After that, teeth are brushed, toilet is painted blue with toothpaste and the the potty is promptly scrubbed with my toothbrush.  Thank you Meatball.

Lazy morning today.  I laid on my bed watching Tinkerbell for the 100th or so time while It, Dit and Shit jumped all over me, stole grapes out of the fridge and fed them to the dog, took all the sheets off of their bed and threw them all over the house.  We had fun though, laughed and carried on.  Well, we got along until the fart contest.  Meatball won.  Little Miss thought she took the prize.

The housework starts after that.  Sweeping, laundry, dishes and then lunch.  Bagels with Nutella.  Hey, they asked for it.  They jumped up and down in the kitchen chanting Nutella.  Bouncing babies, how could I resist giving them more protein for even more energy.  Once that was done, more dishes, more sweeping and definitely more laundry.  I had the wonderful idea to start scrubbing the kitchen and broke out the Lysol.  The kitchen walls were my first victims followed by the table, the counter, the washer, dryer and finally, the floor.  From there I meandered my way through an intriguing game of Barbies (all naked of course) and the Meatball efficiently running them over with his truck, into the living room.  There I victimized more walls, desk, end tables, coffee table, loveseat, the poor dog and her crate.  I moved everything, rearranged and scrubbed it all followed by careful organization of what I needed to put in boxes.  Imagine, all this in between diaper changes and temper tantrums and explaining that the things flying across the sky aren’t rocket ships but airplanes but it’s fun to pretend they’re rocket ships anyway.

Supper.  Late supper.  Pizzas.  It was a lazy cooking day today.  All gourmet lazy though, I swear.  Supper was followed by baths.  Little Man Meatball was first but he hates the water so much that he won’t sit down so I have to give him a shower with a cup while he screams like I’m killing him.  It’s a less than five minute bath after which he has to be snuggled in a the towel and coddled for about fifteen more minutes.  The poor little guy always hated water, right from day one, I don’t understand it.  Once he’s wrapped in his towel and the screaming stops he looks at  you with his baby blues in a very disgusted manner and you just know the thought in his head is, “how dare you!!'”  I think of Stewie when he looks at me like that.

(Mommy & the Meatball)

Next is the girls who were both naked before I even ran the water for Meatball.  Once he was dressed for bed in his robot jammies and Grampie Joe slippers (my Dad had a pair almost identical) and running around with his Lightening McQueen car, it was time for the girls.  Miss Lily jumped right in, enjoying the water while Little Miss needed some help (she’s very petite).  I asked her if she was going to wash her bum and she replies, “yes, and I gonna wash my penis too”.  I looked at her, puzzled and then smiled and told her that she didn’t have one, that she had a vagina.  The Little Man always points to his southern regions whenever the diaper is off and I always kindly tell him what it is which elicits a smile and a giggle every shot and so, I think this is where Little Miss’ confusion had come from.  So, she looks up at me and with her messy blonde curls, big blue eyes and the matter-of-fact tone she inherited from her father says, “Oh, well den I wash my nina”.  And with that, she gets in the tub.

Once everyone is out, dry and dressed for bed we have some fruit for bed lunch, one more glass of milk and they’re off.  The girls want to sleep “up top” because they like pretending they’re in a ship of some sort.  All the money I spent on bunk beds and they still want to sleep together.  Miss Lily reads us all a bedtime story from “up top” and then I get Little Man Meatball snuggled in his crib.  Kisses and “I love you’s” all around coupled with wishes for a goodnight.

That’s my day today.  That’s the Tale of Four.  My little family.

(Little Miss, Mill Lily & Little Man Meatball)