Anonymous

Anonymous said...

How many "Real" friends do you have now? Maybe 1?

January 19, 2009 10:23 AM

My father once told me that doing something as an anonymous person only proved yourself to be a coward. I'm referring to a comment left on my previous post that was left only by one of two people. The safe bet would be one of the two people that I left behind. Even though one line, it was written to be malicious and proved the caliber of person that I have ejected from my life. I had already blocked/deleted them from everything they could use to contact me and so, they chose to do it on a public forum for which they know has a good following of readers in hopes of embarrassing or hurting me. This doesn't hurt me, not a bit but makes me want to use it as a way to show how much I trust and care for the honest and "Real" friends, family that surrounds me.

This is my opportunity now to talk about my real friends. I have them, I adore them, I love these girls like they are my sisters, my chosen family. They have their own quiet, silent lives and have also learned the lessons that I am learning now about honesty and trust. That it's better to have few friends who will stand behind you through anything that a multitude of friends with whom you could never become close. There is distance in numbers and I know that even though I craved to be surrounded by a group of friends and have a lot of people in my life, that really isn't what it's all about.

It's not about phone conversations about who is sleeping with who, who is dating, who lost their job, what she said, what he said -- gossip, lies and rumours. It's about the person who held your hand and cried with you when the doctor tells you that the baby you're carrying has passed away. It's about the person who knows your heart is broken and calls from 500 miles away just to tell you a joke to make you smile. It's about the person who tells you that you're being an asshole when you take your bad day out on the wrong person. It's the ones who walk into your house without knocking and greet you with smiles and hugs. It's the people who you can sit with in complete silence for hours and still be comfortable. The ones who know they can call you at 3am for advice, to cry or to laugh because they're lonely.

Play cards for hours and forgive you when you cheat.

Bring the clothes back that they borrow.

Be the only people you trust to be the guardian of you children.

Stand behind you on the most painful paths our lives take us on, including trying to figure out what gastly things may have happened to your own children.

They do this without blame, without inconsistencies, without running to others with a hot little story about you for the rumour mill. There is mutual respect, understanding and forgiveness for each other's shortcomings.

So, you see...I'm winding down my life, talking stock of the important things and people that encompass me. I have chosen my family, my friends as the ones who I love and admire the most and who have trusted me as much as I have trusted them.

So, as for having one real friend? Who cares how many you have. As long as they're a positive part of who you are, who cares how many there are.