Something to Think About …

I’m going to write something a little more serious today.

I went out last night with a good friend and some people that are close to her.  We went to see a friend’s band play at a small local pub and wanted nothing more to do there except have a couple of drinks and enjoy the music, support our friend and his band.  However, I am absolutely appalled at some of the disgraceful and disgusting behaviour that occurred during the time that we were there.

I don’t normally consider myself a naive person but I think that there are some things that I just don’t believe can still exist anymore on certain levels.  Pride in being a bigot and holding onto discriminatory ideals being one of them.  I know that there is still a lot of hate in this world but I was under the impression (or the hope) that the tides were changing and that minds were opening.  I may have this thought because I was lucky enough to never be exposed to true violent hatred towards another person simply because of how they identify themselves – gay, straight, black, white, etc.

Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not totally in the dark and have come across racists and bigots throughout my entire life.  I have been exposed to their hatred and unkindness on many occasions but I have also seen them shut their mouths and keep their opinions to themselves for the sake of keeping the peace and knowing that what they say or do isn’t going to change anything anyway.  The people of this ignorant mentality that I have known in my life have all kept to themselves and never acted the way they boasted when push came to shove or when given the opportunity.  I have heard the slurs, the jokes, the name-calling and, in all honesty, everyone has a twinge of pre-judgement in them.  It is. unfortunately, human nature to feel that way.  However, I think that the ability to put that aside and get to know a person despite what that silly thought in the back of your mind is telling you is also part of human nature.

Last night I saw something completely different.  I saw pure, unadulterated hate.  There is no other word to describe the words or the actions that I had the displeasure of witnessing but “hate”.

Here’s the thing:  two of the girls in the little group of friends that I went out with last night were a couple, partners or girlfriends or whatever you want to call their relationship.  No one in our group gives a shit.  They’re good people and, just like the rest of us, were just enjoying the music.  We all kept together or broke off into pairs for bathroom breaks, dancing or going outside to smoke.  No one was bothering anyone, just enjoying an awesome night with fantastic music from very talented musicians.  At some point a slur was uttered towards our friends.  I’m not sure if it was in the pub or outside where people went to smoke but it happened.

“Dirty fuckin’ dyke.”

That might not sound like much to some but it does when comes out of the mouth of someone whose aim it is to hurt and degrade another person.  It didn’t stop there.  When my friend and I stumbled upon the situation outside it was a heated battle of words.  One spewing hate and insanity in a drunken sectarian rant, grabbing and pushing the object of her disgust while the other, our friend, trying to defend herself and her partner from a flurry of words and attempted, sometimes connecting, slaps and grabs.  I couldn’t believe that there were people who were coming to the defence of this horrible display.  The group we were with split and tried to calm the situation but then one of the worst things happened:

The bouncer at this establishment came outside, threatening to ban these girls from the premises permanently.  No, not the instigators of this fiasco but the those who were the ones forced to defend themselves.  This bouncer, in his wisdom, thought it would be better to throw out quiet patrons rather than one who did attempted to start an altercation and effectively “gay bash” with verbal and physical assault.  He admitted that he knew what was happening and just didn’t care.  I never thought I would see such blatant discrimination defended by someone who is supposed to be impartial.  Throw out the troublemakers is his job but in this case, he preferred to keep them there.  In the end we all walked away.  This is a situation that could have gotten out of control very quickly with a lot of repercussions for everyone involved.

I must say that I am proud that these girls acted with knowledge that no matter what, nothing was going to change these people.  They walked away with their heads high and hands together, the way it should be.  There is no reason for them to hide.  They have my utmost respect after seeing their display of common sense and strength.  They walked away from a very heated and repugnant situation that would make even the best of us want to stay and fight.  I find myself disillusioned in this small town by allowing such things to occur on an apparent regular basis.

Aren’t we all adults?  Aren’t we all just trying to make a good life for ourselves and our families?  Is it really anyone’s business who we choose to make our life with? 

I was raised with the knowledge that love was love and that’s what mattered most.  I just wish that everyone else could feel the same way and this sort of nonsense could become a less frequent occurrence.