Insanity is the Breath of Life ... what?

Topic: Insanity
Mood: Insane

Had an excellent conversation with a good friend of mine today about the importance of being slightly insane. Is it true that intelligence and mental illness border on one another?? If that's the case then I'm either intelligent or completely batshit crazy. I like to think I'm an eclectic mix of both.

Is it possible that some of us see the world in a completely different way than everyone else?? Is it that our quiet and introspective selves of those of us who may have an askew view, make us come across as being a little on the "needs to medicated" side of life? I ponder this as I think about growing up and being a very strange child, talking to my imaginary friend who whispered in my ear and acting out whole scenarios by myselfn which was for shear entertainment. I attribute a lot of that to spending a good majority of my time alone and, as a result became an observer of life around me, blending into the background of my home life and watching my family's interactions.

Now, as an adult, I am still an observer of life. I have horrible tendancies to tune people out when they talk to me and just watch what's going on around me. I have a great ability to adapt myself to any situation I'm in and just blend into the background - Allie the Chameleon. However, when this happens and I tune these people out, I can't answer questions about what they were saying or remember a topic because I didn't hear it and as a result, I come across as being flighty and aloof. Alright, I am pretty flighty and aloof but I'm not stupid, I'm just not paying attention and I lose my concentration quickly if the topic of conversation is vapid gossip or unimportant rumour and sometimes even stories of things that happened or movies.

I do find it odd that even though I end up tuning people out and just watching their actions and the actions/reactions of those around them ... the give an take of human interaction, there are some people who just hold my attention intensly. Maggpie is one, Miami is another. I think that's why we've been friends for so long; due to the fact that they understand me whereas most people just don't know how to read me. I do come across as quiet, somewhat shy to some and to others I'm mouthy and brazen. Odd combination which makes it difficult for anyone to really know me or understand me. There are a few others who hold my attention and with silly topics that would normally send my brain to paying attention to the way they moved their hands to emphasize an emotion or the way their lip twitched when they said something that excited them and away from what they're actually saying. It's weird.

Just because I tune out does not mean that I'm ignoring them or disinterested. I can't explain any further, I don't have the words to do so correctly. Does this chameleon-like behaviour and my brain's ability to drift off into it's own study of the world around me make me crazy?? Does the fact that my constant jabbering to myself all through my childhood carried over into my adulthood give a good argument for mental illness?? Is my brain tuning things out as a way to keep the insanity at bay?? Does my psyche realize that I can be hyper-sensitive and so, drift off to other things as a means to protect itself?? Phew...self-psychoanalysis ...

I honestly think we all tune out, we all talk to ourselves, we're all observers in one way or another and introspection, in it's finest and most intense form isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes a little insanity is the breath of life ... Maggpie, you just may have stumbled onto something with that statement