The Joys of Being an ASSHAT!

Yup, that's me, and AssHat Extraordinaire. Ever have one of those days where you just slighty can't stand yourself?? I'm having one of those days. I'm not going to get into why I feel rather like a prick today, it's a little too personal but that about sums up my day. I'm sure I can clear things up, make them better but right now it sucks....

I'm knitting. Bought some yarn yesterday at Wal-Mart for a buck (regular $6.00, proud of that one) and now I'm knitting yet another scarf. I'm starting to become convinced that they're the only thing I can knit. I know the difference but I've been knitting them steadily for about a year now. Christmas gifts. Everyone seems to like something hand made that has a purpose such as keeping you warm. Maybe I should start knitting sweaters or socks or mittens too. That could be a good idea.

I'm starting a sewing project tonight. I'm practicing sewing a teddy bear before I start making this year's Christmas presents for my sisters. See, I have some old clothes that belonged to my parents and I'm going to use the fabric to make Memory Bears. I think it is a much better idea to have a nicely sewn teddy bear made with your loved ones clothes to remember them by than to just have their clothes sitting in a box packed away in a basement or closet. Maybe this is another reason I feel shitty today, I'm missing my Mom and Dad.

On that note, I'm going to try to get over the feeling of being Top Shit Head, make some supper for my girls and start sewing....wish me luck.

Random Nonsense with a Sore Finger...

Don't mind me, I'm half asleep. Long day today at work...couldn't get a damn thing to work for me, it sucked. Oh well, nothing I can do about it now but I do have to admit that it took the good out of me. I edited the same report so many times that my finger actually started to get sore from scrolling the document. Can you believe that?? A sore finger?? From EDITING!!??? Yet, here I am, blogging...lol....glutton for punishment (and cake).

Does anyone know if maybe I could get a hand-working-out-machine?? You know, like a stepper or a treadmill for your hand?? Finger cardio?? Anything that will keep me from getting a scroll cramp?? Now I know that there are some brains that are going to the wrong place but I'm serious, my finger hurts. I need stronger pointer muscles.

Enough about my finger and more about my beer. I have a Corona and it's yummy. This is right around where Big Cranky would call me an alcoholic but considering that I don't normally drink, it was a long day, it's Friday and I have no plans but to go to bed when I'm finished, what's the harm? BEEEEERRRRR. Corona...no, I didn't get the hat. It's good, I'm enjoying it and I'm sure it's a little bit better for me than the 2L of ice cream I was going to shove in my gob. Gob. They were a pretty decent band.

Little Man Meatball is nine months old today. Can you believe that?? He's getting so big so fast, I don't like it. I want him to stay tiny for a little while longer but he's already pulling himself up on the furniture and starting to cruise along a little bit. Before I know it he'll be walking around and telling me "no", pointing his finger and screaming "mine". I almost can't wait but right now I just don't want to give up my snuggly Little Man.

OK. Bedtime. I just don't have it in me to write anymore.

Goodnight.

Oh my, dog crates and business men...

I'm sitting here straightening my hair and having a minor mental meltdown. Okay, that's a little dramatic but I am freaking out a little bit. See, I'm having a Fantasia party tomorrow night and it seemed that everyone I invited is backing out so I'm getting nervous that no one is going to show up. I know in the back of my mind that it's not true, people are coming but I just can't get that nagging, horrible feeling that it's going to be me and the lady who does the presentations sitting here staring at each other after I apologize for wasting her time.

Irrational.

I think I had one of those crappy days. The only difference is that I didn't really realize it was crappy until I sat down to think about it. I'm not sure if that makes any sense. Seems like I did everything twice today because I kept making a silly mistake on something or forgetting something ....bah....let it gooooooo......

I'm in a crazy mood tonight I think. It could possibly be stress from anticipating and planning this party. I'm nervous about people coming but I sure as hell am excited about it. It's not just the Fantasia stuff but the fact that my best friend is finally going to see where I live, that most of my friends are all going to be here with me for a few hours to talk and be silly girls. I haven't had the chance to do that in a very long time and I can't wait!!

My dog is snoring and I'm hoping that I'm going to be doing the same thing very, very soon...just not in a dog crate. I think it would be a little weird if I replaced my bed for a metal cage of sorts. Although, I'm sure there are certain sets of people who would probably enjoy the fact that I have a cage instead of a bed. You know, I read about a single mother who would have men come into her home on the weekend and make them do her housework. The thing was that these men would pay her up to $3500 each and she would humiliate them while they cleaned, wearing a little collar and a maid outfit. Her kids would be having their weekend visit and she would be feminizing high powered business men with no sex involved....hmmmmm.....

My hair is straight and soft and ready for the morning...

Weird post, not feeling like myself tonight....

This one is for GIRLS ONLY......

....don't say I didn't warn ya.

I have one word that is going to sum up my mood, my energy level, my tolerence level, my patience and my mental stability....

PERIOD

Ugh.

I'm baking a chocolate cake that I don't want but neeeeeeed. I'm seriously considering putting salt on it. I'm so bloated I look like I'm having another baby. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, is getting on my nerves. Well, it's either getting on my nerves, making me want to cry or making me want to go to bed.

I'm so damn tired. I want to crawl in bed and wake up next week. This one is totally kicking my ass.... I find it amusing how we hate this time so much and at the same time dread the thought of it not coming at all. Quite the conundrum isn't it? It's a cruel, cruel joke Mother Nature played on us girls by giving us this "curse" of a relative such as "aunt flo". Then, on top of that cruel joke, she gives us men. Alright, I am not in the right frame of mind to even travel that road right now....

I'm going to pray to the God of Tampax that this week is going to go by quickly so this will be done and over with. Cross your fingers for me girls....I know you all know how I'm feeling right now.

My cake is almost ready and I'm really starting to wish that I had've just eaten the batter. The batter was good, I licked the bowl and the spoon and then wished I saved some of it. I can smell it and it smells f'n fantastic but I wish it was salty. Salty chocolate. Why am I thinking of South Park right now??

oooooo......I have some chips. I'm going to get a piece of cake, crumble some chips on top and then go to bed.

I have just come to the conclusion that I should be considered completely insane during this "time of the month".

Mydol, here I come.....

...whoa...that was a little serious....

Holy crap, my last post was July 22nd!! What's gotten into me?? I can't believe I've become such a slacker. Wait, yes I can. I can totally believe that.

I'm making a cup of tea and mulling over my day. It was an interesting one, a fun one and one that made me think about a lot of things that are happening in my life right now. Made me think of all the things I would like to change...for the better. I think it's time to make a decision about the direction things are going...tough one...

I don't know if it's going to the gym and starting to feel better about myself or working at a job where my abilities have been praised and accepted but I know that my confidence has grown exponentially over the last few months/weeks. I know that I've been thinking a lot differently about everything in my life, what's good and bad, what's worth worrying over and what's worth forgetting, what I'm willing to put up with and what is going to be my deal breaker.....

Today I had a little ray of sunshine. Today I remembered some of good things. Today I found an old friend. Today I felt appreciated. Today I discovered a little more of who I am and who I'd like to be.

I think I need to go home.....