POOPSY-DAISY

I'm bored and straightening my hair again. My dog is upstairs trying to lick my kids but they're trying to sleep so it's not a good combination. Oh...here she comes, down the stairs being clumsy and stupid. Big Stupid Puppy. I love her because of that though. She wouldn't be my Kita if she was any different. Well, she's going to be a little different if she doesn't leave the cat alone. Sasha the 3-lb ninja is going to do some serious damage to the poor puppy if she doesn't leave her alone to sit in the window.

I'm getting tired of trying to get my hair done. It's the neverending head of hair. Seriously, it's too damn thick! I have to say I miss the length of it and completely regret getting it cut. It was a bad decision...a very, very bad decision and I want my hair back....not hair ON my back, just have my hair back, to the length it was before...ugh...you know what I mean.

Anyway, I'm off to see if I can find some Poopsy-Daisy. Miami saw it on the Home Shopping Channel and it's f'n fantastic. This stuff is the best invention EVER!! If it's not the best invention, the name is certainly going down in the history of products as having one of the most original and humourous of all product names. I've never tried it but I certainly want to buy it, if for nothing more than mere entertainment value.

C'mon -- POOPSY-DAISY -- yes, I did make that brown on purpose.

Here's the sales pitch or, at the very least, the way I would personally pitch the product:

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have for you today one product that you should not be without. Leave it in your bathroom, carry it in your purse or bag, take it wherever you go that may have a washroom. This amazing little product will take the smell out of a bull after a chili tasting contest, a man after a weekend of nothing but beer and barbeque and preggo poops which, as we all know, are the worst of all!!

All you have to do to use this amazing, one of a kind, piece of Heaven product is simply drop some into the toilet before the dreaded Number Two and as soon as that turd hits the water -- BAM -- stench is now neutralized!! You can now poop in peace no matter where you are!! No more worries about co-workers discussing your potty aroma behind your back, your children having who has stinkier parents contests or your spouse complaining about not being able to follow you to the crapper!! Remember, it's simple, squirt the bottle before you squirt your bum and you will stink no more....

Finally we can all be proud and loud and say, "MY SHIT DON'T STINK!!"