Do you really need to hold the wall to pee?

I'm supposed to be packing. I have a strict schedule to keep (yeah right) but I had to stop and ask this one question: Why the hell do I have a plate that has a sticker on the back stating:

Not for food use

Seriously. Why?

I'm taking a break from the kitchen. It's bothering me that I can't just tip that half of the house and have it land in a box, neatly. I don't think I'm asking too much! Kita keeps stealing out of the garbage and the cats are watching me intently so that they can get in the box when I'm not looking and make a mess of my...ah hem...organized packing.

So, I thought a lot today, which can be a very dangerous thing, and came up with these random nonsense thoughts:

Who ever coined the term "putting the moves on someone"?? And why is that we have to drag out the word "moves" when we say it...MOOOOVES? And what exactly are the moves that we're putting on? Who decides what's a move? What about "making out"? Where did that come from? Can you imagine the conversation:

"What are they doing"; "They're making."; "Making what?"; "Making OUT."

What the hell is out? I know it's kissing and shit but how is a kiss equated with an OUT?? ugh. Hey, I didn't ask about fisting. At least that's a verb.

Why do guys sometimes lean on the wall in front of them while they take a pee? Is it that bad they're going to fly backwards if they don't brace themselves in some way??

Why is it that I always end up in the bathroom after someone has a crap, only to have someone else come in behind me and think I dropped the bomb? Why can't people bring air freshener to work....Crazy Royal Bank Lady!! (hint hint) I'm sure she has a radar that tells her when the tattooed girl next door is going to pee so she can run in there ahead of me and stink the place out.